H1N1

"I have a cough. Does this mean I have it? It's really bad while I'm smoking."

"I was in Chatham about a week ago. I know that people who have been traveling are at risk for that swine thingie. What do you think?"

"I ate a pork sandwich! Do I have the pig flu?"

I kid you not. These are the things that I have overheard. Don't worry, I'm not breaking any kind of confidentiality oath at either of my jobs, these are things I've overheard people talking about in public - really! I forget which restaurant I was at, but I actually heard a woman remind her husband not to get bacon on his burger. I suppose the fault is not that of the general populace, but it is frightening to see how an epidemic/pandemic/endemic (whatever we're calling it now) is handled. Why must information be hoarded away? Why can people not be notified of the symptoms other than just the word 'cough?' I myself cough at least four or five times a day to clear my throat. Do I have it too?

As enjoyable as it is to poke fun, there is also the harsh reality. The statistics are out, and as of right now there are four people in Essex County with H1N1, with a province wide total of thirty-one. Laboratory tests have confirmed that it is the same virus as the one in Mexico and the United States. All cases are considered mild, and those afflicted are all resting at home. However I find myself disturbed by the following:

"As expected, there has been a large increase in the number of confirmed cases of the H1N1 flu virus and we look for the case total to continue to rise as daily testing increases. Ontarians should continue to protect themselves and those around them by washing hands frequently, coughing or sneezing into your sleeve, and staying at home if they're sick." - Dr. David Williams, Ontario's Acting Chief Medical Officer of Health

Excuse me? Wash your hands then sneeze into your sleeve? I suppose this is a fantastic way to create job security, but really David. We take enough flak about our health care system without our acting chief telling people to walk around with snot and spittle on their wrist. Also, stay at home if you're sick; our emergency rooms are only for healthy patients.

I would also really enjoy if we picked a name for this virus. Is it the swine flu, the human swine flu, or H1N1? What exactly does the H and the N stand for, and why should it have to sound so mysterious? Yes you could research it if you wanted to, but who has the time? If you speak the language of texting (luv u love you, cul8r see you later) or inserting numbers into your words (1 as an i, 3 as an e, 5 as an s, and so on) you may read it as I do. Hieney. As in, the thing you sit on. Because I'd rather call it that then rattle off an acronym that could stand for anything.

As much as I would like to take credit for this last thought, it was a nurse at work that brought it up. We have been through the avian flu, mad cow disease, and the swine flu. Run for your lives, it's FARMageddon!

29

It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and BLUE!

I'm just wondering why Andrew Lloyd Webber thought that twenty nine colours were necessary, I think five would be sufficient - nobody asked me though. Also, black is not a colour.

Winerisms

You may have noticed that I have a few recipes on my blog. As an addition to the food, I am pleased to introduce the drink as well.I am by no means a wine critic. Instead, what I will do is share with you some of the most exotics names. There will not be an analysis of taste, aroma, appearance or aftertaste; merely good or bad, with a possible adjective before this word.

For example, "Little Black Dress." Very good.

See how simple it is? If it pleases me, I'll include additional information.

"Little Black Dress" is a California Merlot, that promises to be, "Smooth and sophisticated, just like your little black dress."

Maybe after much more practice I will be able to give you more information, but this will have to suffice for now!

Sunset Chicken and Rice with Shrimp - Deconfusified

I know what you're thinking. I'm not usually psychic, but this time I am. You're thinking to yourself, "My! It's been quite a while since he's updated the blog, but a whole new recipe? Even though he is working two jobs? Goodness me!"

I told you I knew. Let me soothe your frazzled mind. Yes this is my recipe, but only because I've tweaked the original recipe from the cookbook so much that I can call it my own!

Start off with some chicken. Usually I'm all for getting the healthiest option that there is available, but this is much tastier if you grin and bear it - buy chicken with the skin. Boneless pieces are best if you can find them. Dust them lightly with flour and salt, while seasoning heavily with pepper. In an electric frying pan, use just enough oil to cover the entire bottom. Heat the oil until it is rippling then toss in the chicken, skin down.
Once the chicken has browned on one side, turn over. Add shrimp, and cook until shrimp are pink, and no longer opaque. Feel free to cook longer, until the shrimp are browned as well. Remove chicken and shrimp from the pan. Don't worry if you think that the chicken might not be finished cooking, we're only taking it out for a minute before we finish with it. Leave all oil in the pan.

Add one chopped onion, two cloves minced garlic, and one teaspoon turmeric to the pan. Let it all sizzle together for about five minutes or so. Add half a cup of white wine. I didn't have any white wine, so I used a quarter cup of white vinegar. Once this additional liquid is in the pan it will loosen any bits of chicken that stuck to the bottom of the pan. If it doesn't, we'll be adding more. Don't worry so much!

Add two cups of broth. It really doesn't matter what kind; vegetable, beef, chicken, etc. Just don't use water. Actually go ahead and use water, but don't complain to me if it tastes bland. Add one cup frozen peas, about three quarters of a cup tomato paste, and one eighth of a cup of pimientos (all I could find was a 4oz jar, this was fine). Stir well.

Mix in two cups of arborio rice, and return chicken and shrimp to the pan. Stir well to ensure the rice is covered by the liquid, or bang the pan to make it all settle. Either way, just make sure there is an even distribution!

Turn down the heat until the liquid is barely simmering. Cover, and let cook for thirty minutes. If you didn't turn the heat down low enough everything will cement itself to the bottom of the pan, but if you turn it too low the rice will be too nutty . . . oh the pending kitchen disasters!

This doesn't have to be made with shrimp, or chicken. I like both, so I used both. It's perfectly fine to use just one. Again as a precaution though, I would make sure that if only using chicken to make sure that the skin remains on to flavour the oil that cooks the rice.

A Moderne Faerie Tayle

Gather around one and all, and I'll tell you a tale that will make you weep with laughter, gasp in astonishment, and paralyze you with fear. Well maybe not - I tend to exaggerate. Grab yourself a cup of cocoa, and prepare to be amazed as I give the Brothers Grimm a run for their money.

Once upon a time, there was a young prince who lived in the noble land of Registeria. The prince was well loved both by those within the court as well as the peasants that visited the castle. He worked with the peasants to resolve some of the issues that the might have. Those with a broken heart might get the love potion Cardiola. Those that needed a bone set he arranged to be taken to the Fountain of Diagnostyc Images. Still others came to him with aches and pains, and he arranged carriage rides to the nearby land of ERtopia. But dark times were about to befall, for a terrible giant named Debto began causing unrest within the kingdoms. Several lords and ladies were lost in an attempt to subdue Debto, but he was yet to be appeased. Those that remained of the nobility became fearful for their lives, and rightfully so. They voiced concern for the prince, but he was sure that his reign within the kingdom was secure.

Sadly, our prince had a consultation with a visiting oracle named Schedula. She informed him that his reign was not as secure as he had thought. Through no fault of his own he would only be able to aid the peasants one day out of seven. The prince was shocked at this divination. Sure he enjoyed his leisure time. In fact, he was booked to perform at a local tavern with the show "Damsels on Broadway II: Prithee, who let in the Knaves?" One night in a fit of despair, he confided this news to one of the damsels he rehearsed with. She told him to meet her later, and she would see what she could do.

Later that night behind the tavern, our prince met with her. She revealed that her name was Parkina, the princess in training from Rowhar. Noticing how poorly the prince felt, she told him of a quest he might go on. Eager for information, the prince listened with rapt attention as she explained what he had to do. Before the sun set the next day, he would need to find the legendary sword of Resoumay and bring it to the sacred spring in the wood of Thyrdflore. Once there, he would need to sprinkle the petals of the rare flower Reference. Parkina cautioned him that this was not a quest that was guaranteed to work, but our prince was determined.

Our prince returned home, a hopeful spring in his step. Because all good heroes are prepared, he knew that he had all the requirements for the quest tucked away for just such an occasion. Early the next morning he journeyed forth (with his imp Ala) and made his way into the wood. He quickly performed the ritual. Unfortunately for our prince, there was no immediate response. Feeling more dejected then ever, he turned and left the woods. The very moment he did, a white dove flew out of the woods. "Come back! Come back!" her voice rang. The prince was shocked, but obeyed. Back at the spring a variety of people were waiting for him, including Parkina. They asked him several questions about how the prince dealt with peasants, and his experience in these areas. The prince answered as truthfully as he could, then the crowd left to make their decision. Leaving for home, the prince was hopeful once more.

Three dawns later, the white dove made another appearance. The poor thing was tired from zooming all around the kingdom, but her voice rang out the the message the prince had been praying for. He had been accepted into the order of LeaFamHealTea, a new way of helping peasants. This acceptance meant five days out of seven, leaving plenty of time to also remain in the land of Registeria.

It has now been two weeks since the prince began working with LeaFamHealTea, and he is as ecstatic as ever. Don't you just love happy endings?

Simply unable to bear the wait any longer . . . I know . . .

I have been absent from my virtual life quite a bit lately. There really is no excuse, other than the fact that I'm too busy living my real life. Ah well, I'll write you a lovely story some time soon.