H1N1

"I have a cough. Does this mean I have it? It's really bad while I'm smoking."

"I was in Chatham about a week ago. I know that people who have been traveling are at risk for that swine thingie. What do you think?"

"I ate a pork sandwich! Do I have the pig flu?"

I kid you not. These are the things that I have overheard. Don't worry, I'm not breaking any kind of confidentiality oath at either of my jobs, these are things I've overheard people talking about in public - really! I forget which restaurant I was at, but I actually heard a woman remind her husband not to get bacon on his burger. I suppose the fault is not that of the general populace, but it is frightening to see how an epidemic/pandemic/endemic (whatever we're calling it now) is handled. Why must information be hoarded away? Why can people not be notified of the symptoms other than just the word 'cough?' I myself cough at least four or five times a day to clear my throat. Do I have it too?

As enjoyable as it is to poke fun, there is also the harsh reality. The statistics are out, and as of right now there are four people in Essex County with H1N1, with a province wide total of thirty-one. Laboratory tests have confirmed that it is the same virus as the one in Mexico and the United States. All cases are considered mild, and those afflicted are all resting at home. However I find myself disturbed by the following:

"As expected, there has been a large increase in the number of confirmed cases of the H1N1 flu virus and we look for the case total to continue to rise as daily testing increases. Ontarians should continue to protect themselves and those around them by washing hands frequently, coughing or sneezing into your sleeve, and staying at home if they're sick." - Dr. David Williams, Ontario's Acting Chief Medical Officer of Health

Excuse me? Wash your hands then sneeze into your sleeve? I suppose this is a fantastic way to create job security, but really David. We take enough flak about our health care system without our acting chief telling people to walk around with snot and spittle on their wrist. Also, stay at home if you're sick; our emergency rooms are only for healthy patients.

I would also really enjoy if we picked a name for this virus. Is it the swine flu, the human swine flu, or H1N1? What exactly does the H and the N stand for, and why should it have to sound so mysterious? Yes you could research it if you wanted to, but who has the time? If you speak the language of texting (luv u love you, cul8r see you later) or inserting numbers into your words (1 as an i, 3 as an e, 5 as an s, and so on) you may read it as I do. Hieney. As in, the thing you sit on. Because I'd rather call it that then rattle off an acronym that could stand for anything.

As much as I would like to take credit for this last thought, it was a nurse at work that brought it up. We have been through the avian flu, mad cow disease, and the swine flu. Run for your lives, it's FARMageddon!