Broads II is coming!

This is a piece of paper.

Shu-duh bop bop, shu-duh bop bop.

This is a column which as you can see I have
Placed on the piece of paper.

How do you measure, measure a year?

This is a list of receipts and bills
What we may call household expense, which
I have entered along this line
Forming a business-like design
Inside the column which I've prepared
Upon the piece of paper.

Dum doobie doo, duh doo run run, duh doo run run!

This is a total of all those bills,
It represents a month's expense.
The whole outlay in cheques and cash
That went for the rent and the corned-beef hash
In short the sum and net result
Of all those figures inside the column
Which I've prepared upon this piece
Of pa - - - per.

In daylights? In sunsets? In midnights? In cups of coffee?

Now this as you know, is a statement from the bank.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh yeah!

It must be compared with the total result
Of all the figuires inside the column if
We are to know in terms of cost
Just how much money we've made or lost
How far in fact, we've come or gone
What I'm saying is Honey, you're overdrawn.

How do you measure the worth of a woman or a man?

AGAIN!

Tell me more, tell me more . . .

Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes, measure in love.

Summer Nights Seasons of Love Nobody's Perfect

Dawn

I am the dawn, and the new day begun
I bring you the morning, I bring you the sun
I hold back the night and I open the skies
I give light to the world, I give sight to your eyes
From the first of all time, until time is undone,
Forever and ever and ever and ever . . .
And I am dawn and the sky and the sun,
I am one with the One
And I am,
The Dawn

"The Dawn and The Sky and The Sun"

Celtic Woman

We're off to see the Blizzard . . .

What a full weekend I've had! I woke up quite early on Saturday, about nine thirty. Don't you dare judge me, I just said that it was Saturday! Anyway, I called Licorice as we had plans to Wii together. As we were talking I happened to look out the window. What a joy - it began to snow. There are plenty of people who enjoy the snow, and just as many who are tired of it. I say keep it coming, but it would be extra convenient if it would have the courtesy to stay off of the roads. Well, this was unfortunate in this instance, as Licorice lives about an hour away. I was not picking up at driving all the way out there, as the last time I drove home from her house my car was buried so deeply I barely made it out of the driveway! Instead I decided to put my Wii-energy to use with Penelope. The distance to her house is a mere eight minutes in good weather, and this is a much more acceptable visit with a looming storm. When I arrived, Penelope told me that we would be going shopping. Just a note for everyone reading this - have you noticed that whenever I visit a friend we always seem to get up and leave right away?

Not one to waste an opportunity, I decided that we would stop by the marina for a walk. With the snow flying around us, I knew that there would not be much pedestrian traffic. I'll take this moment to clarify, with the wind speed being what it was, it did not feel like snow. It felt like tiny bullets whizzing directly at us. Thankfully we are hardier than most, and took this time to appreciate the crystaline winter beauty . . .

. . . then we hauled butt back to the car because we were cold.

Thankfully WalMart is quite warm. We headed down to the hair dye aisle (HORRERS!) and Penelope picked out her shade. What a smart girl she is to pick the colour out herself.

We spent the night playing Wii, dying, eating delicious pasta that Penelope's mother made for us, playing some more Wii, and watching a movie. The movie frustrated me. A good storyline does not a fantastic movie make, as mixed mythology and predictably cheesy lines proved.

Sunday dawned with the hope of less snow. Again, I dragged my behind out of bed at an absurd hour. First a caffeine fix thanks to Tim Hortons, then off to the church we went. This was Carrie's baptism day! Penelope and I are her Godparents. I amused her by speaking in a husky Italian accent. And why not? I am the Godfather after all.

What fun the ceremony is for a non-Catholic! Pomp, circumstance, ceremonial garb, magic oil, holy water, preventative exorcisms, ring a bell, sit, stand, kneel, pray, Amen . . . the list goes on and on! The interactions between the speaker and the seasoned veterans in the other pews was fascinating to this 'outsider.'

After the ceremony, we all went out for lunch. This included myself, Penelope, Carrie, Darla, Carrie's father Willy, and her older sister Meredith. Egg rolls and spring rolls and wontons - oh my! Several pounds later, we left for home. Seeing as I had to go to work that night, I took a quick nap on Penelope's bed. She lives 30 seconds away from the hospital, so this saved me sixteen minutes of driving (8 there, 8 back - but you knew that because you were paying attention earlier, weren't you?).

Today is Monday, and today is about the sleeping. Calls will be forwarded to voicemail, the cat will be curled up beside me, and light will be banished by heavy curtains. Goodnight!

Mathmatics to Dye For

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday. Never let anyone buy hairdye for you, no matter how carefully you instruct them on the phone (even while Mom is in the isle in WalMart looking at what you are describing). You will waste both your time and money; not to mention the 'chemical burn' look on your face from both the smelly miasma surrounding your face, and scrubbing to ensure a lack of dye stains.

I was trying to go back to my natural colour - blonde. This didn't work out quite as planned! Let me explain the current colour before I began meddling. The main colour was a dirty blonde with strawberry blonde streaks, but my ashy-blonde roots were showing. I'm attempting to be as descriptive as possible, because I refuse to show pictures of the way it turned out! I started with a mild bleaching kit. "Starlight." I used this on the strawberry blonde part to get rid of all of the red. Next, I used "Caramel Kiss" (doesn't that sound lovely? Makes me hungry!) as an all-over colour. I anticipated that this would be a light brown that would eventually fade to a blonde. Instead the two must have reacted to each other poorly; I had a muted orange colour streaked throughout, and my roots were white - I can't even say platinum!

All of this called for another trip to WalMart. In I went, my 'halo' hidden by a hat of course! I abandoned all hope of a golden hue, and instead turned to "Toasted Toffee." My hair is now a medium-light brown. So I guess the equation is as follows:

Starlight + Caramel Kiss + Bad Directions + Confused Personal Shopper = A BIG MESS!

Guess what?

Today is a dandy day. Why? Because once again I am in a performance! In this early stage I do not want to divulge many secrets, but I will tell you two things I'm excited about.

I am married to Dolly, and I kiss Galinda.

Stirred with curiosity? Stay tuned for details!

What's in my Bag?

Here's my bag. It's rather full, and I'm sure some people wonder as to what is inside. First, a look at the exterior. Quite a lovely bag, from Guess? - and leather to boot. It was a fantastic price, which is probably the reason that when I bought it it was the last one left in the store. I had to tell the cashier to take it out of the window. It is much happier with me then on the arm of a mannequin. I've had it for quite a few years, as it was a present to myself when I started back at school. Credit cards were a fancy new toy at this time, not the cruel-interest-accruing-reality they are now.

But why is it so full? Well dear reader, because I am frequently bored. This prevents that. Other than the two books for reading, and one for writing in, I have several things that I will 'organize' at random. This is a lie - there is no organization to the bag. Only hodge-podge. And breakfast.

If you look closely, you'll also see my glasses (I only wear them at night when driving. Don't tell my eye doctor), a pack of gum, some loose papers (one is a recipe for "Holly Hardcore Dessert" - don't ask, I didn't name it! - and the other stack is sheet music for the song Green the Whole Year 'Round), wallet-sized pictures that I keep stashed should anyone want to see them, my hospital ID badge and parking pass, another pack of gum, pencil stubs, a pen, wallet, and my camera with USB cord. Wait - I can't see the camera! I bet you can't either. Well that is kind of silly thing to look for, if you stop to think about it.

Fajitas - Deconfusified

Get out your limes and tequila, because tonight is mexican night! Okay, so it's kind of cheating, but it's the easiest/quickest recipe for fajitas that you'll ever find.


Start off with some wraps. Throw down a line of ranch dressing, and add some sharp cheddar cheese. Top this with peppers and tomatoes, and any other veggies that you'd like.
Next step, add either grilled chicken or beef. You don't have to, but I take this oppurtunity to add a little hot sauce as well.

When folding, use cream cheese as 'glue' to keep the wrap stuck together.

Line them up in a roast pan (or a smaller pan if you made them skimpy) and top with additional shredded cheese and veggies. Jalepenos and black olives would be great here - but we had neither and my mother doesn't like hot stuff anyway.

Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes, just long enough for the ends of the wraps to get crisp. Serve right away, as they cool quickly. Top with sour cream and salsa if so desired.

Ignore the Christmas-themed paper plate. My mother was thrilled at the thought of very few dishes (roast pan, grater, 1 knife and 2 spoons) so she used leftover plates. Please note that the decorations of the plate do not in any way change the flavour of the meal.

V-Day

My funny Valentine, sweet comic Valentine

You make me smile with my heart.

Your looks are laughable, unphotographable,

Yet you're my favourite work of art.

Is your figure less than Greek?

Is your mouth a little weak?

When you open it to speak, are you smart?

But don't change a hair for me,

Not if you care for me.

Stay little Valentine, stay -

Each day is Valentine's day.

"My Funny Valentine"

Richard Rodgers & Lorenz Hart from Babes in Arms

Lasagna - Deconfusified

Most people dread making a lasagna. My own mother has commented on how difficult it is to make. These comments make me laugh! I have a recipe (that I consider simple) that Penelope greatly enjoys. Why do I feel the need to mention this? Penelope is Italian, and her mother could easily wipe out Spago's and The Olive Garden if she was so inclined. Any compliment on my Italian cuisine from Penelope is manna from heaven!


In an electric frying pan (or regular frying pan if you're daring - but you won't have enough room!) start off with 4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, black pepper, half a cup chopped onion (I used red, could be any type), a third of a cup chopped celery, and one small diced tomato. Also black pepper to taste, and all the leaves off of 3 stems of rosemary. Not dried rosemary, fresh. This is the only ingredient that is crucial in my opinion. Anything else could be taken out if so desired. Allow a few minutes on medium heat, then add 2lbs of ground meat - I prefer chicken. Less grease. Whatever your choice, it is easiest to work with if the meat is not frozen. It is easiest to 'stir' with a spatula, as you can deal with any large chunks of meat that form from browning. You don't want chunks, so use the spatula to attack! Add red wine to taste, and about 700mls (a large jar) of your favourite tomato-based pasta sauce (I wouldn't recommend a blush or alfredo, but hey, it's your lasagna!).

Once some of the sauce has reduced, the meat mixture should have the consistency of chili. Here's a good time to take a break, and make yourself a quick little snack. I wonder what 'sloppy joe' is in Italian?

Now get out your roast pan. We're making a big lasagna you see, and we need a very deep pan! Opening a second jar of pasta sauce, lightly cover the bottom of the pan. Don't use too much sauce, we'll need it later. Add some water if needed. This serves a double purpose - ensuring that the pasta does not dry out, and making the pan easier to wash! Now we'll get to the noodles. Again, I'm not picky. You have three options. #1 - Oven Ready Noodles #2 - Precook your noodles #3 - non-Oven Ready Noodles (with lots of water and extra sauce added to the pan). Choose wisely!

In a roast pan, you will need to layer your noodles in an odd manner to cover the entire work area, but do your best. I have faith in you. After the first layer, add half of the meat mixture. Another noodle layer. Now for a cheesy layer! Mix together a large tub of ricotta cheese, about half a cup of mozzarella, and chopped spinach to taste. It's a little difficult to spread, but again, you can do it!

Add one more noodle layer, then use the rest of the meat mixture. Another noodle layer, and use the rest of the second jar of sauce that we opened earlier. Spread it over the entire top, and pour down the sides. Add some water down the sides as well, again ensuring that it will not dry out. Top with Parmesan and more mozzarella. Bake for about an hour at 400.

This is a recipe that freezes nicely, and reheats just as well. After reheating, add just a touch extra mozzarella after it comes out of the oven to improve presentation.


A quick note about a wonderful addition to this recipe. My friend the Decadent Housewife has a fantastic recipe for garlic bread. I didn't follow the recipe exactly - I used the regular white bread not sourdough, I brushed garlic butter on for the first bake, and I reheated the bread at supper time brushed with olive oil and Parmesan.

Still, not bad for a first attempt!

A Perfect Day

Today is the perfect day to laze about, to read a book, to cuddle a cat. "Rain rain, go away, come again another day."

Please! Come back tomorrow! I'd love nothing more than a free excuse to curl up for a nap.

Maybe just one more day though. Anymore and apathy could kick into overdrive, and our house could flood.

Just please don't let it freeze!

Zippy 3-Cheese Pasta - Deconfusified

Tonight we needed something to eat, but nobody was in the mood to cook. Mom would have been satisfied with a sandwich, but I felt the need for something more. I asked her if what she wanted me to make, and I never got an answer. So once again matters were in my hands!

I started with a medium/large pot with the bottom 3/4 covered with extra virgin olive oil. Turning the burner on high, I waited until the oil was rippling until I added one finely minced clove of garlic, half of a chopped tomato, 3 tablespoons of chopped red onion, a sprinkle of thyme, and some Italian salad dressing. We have the squirt kind, and I gave it three healthy squirts.
After cooking for a few minutes on high, reduce the heat to medium-low. Add a splash more oil. Throw in enough parsley to colour the oil nicely, as well as about two tablespoons chopped green pepper. Just a note here - you may notice that there are very few veggies here. Feel free to add additional variety or increase the amounts if you please. The main reason for the veggies in this recipe is for added colour and texture (besides the taste obviously). If you add enough vegetables you can fool yourself into believing this is a healthy meal - but I prefer to be a realist. This is a recipe for a cold and blustery day; hot, rich and filling!

Now for the secret ingrediant. If you have some experience cooking it may not seem odd, but for a novice it will almost seem like a mistake. Add both freshly ground pepper to taste and a sprinkle of nutmeg. NUTMEG? Yes, nutmeg. It adds depth, just do it. Now you will wait (while stirring every once and a while) until the majority of the oil has reduced. Once this has happened, add a cup and a half of your favorite alfredo sauce, and half a cup of milk. Keep on a medium-low heat.
Grate about half a cup of both sharp, old cheddar and mozzarella. Stir into the pot with a generous sprinkling of parmesean. Stir every few seconds until the cheese is completely melted in. The only 'lumps' should be the small chunks of veggies.

Pour over your choice of pasta. I like to use fusilli (mostly because we had either that or mini shells).

This is a great dish all by itself with a side salad, or used as a sidedish. Pictured below with leftover baked BBQ chicken.

Waiting for Tonight

Tonight Penelope is taking me out for my birthday. I'm very excited - but I have to work until three this afternoon. The anticipation is unbearable! I thought that I would tell you about it. Since I'm 24 now (and so old) I will use a grown-up format.

Will we be driving very far?
Will she take me in her car?
Will we be drinking in a bar that's very far reached by her car?

Will she take me out to eat?
Will I get a tasty treat?
Are there new people to meet while out to eat a tasty treat?

Will I get a lovely gift?
Did she shop for it with thrift?
Must I be forced to have a tiff because my gift was bought with thrift?

Will we have a super time?
Will it be absolutely divine?
Then I think I'll rhyme sublime with near-rhyme divine and time!

Easy Lemon Pie

Tonight my friend Anastasia came to see me - all the way from London! This was a surprise visit, and I'm sure she was surprised to see me lounging on the couch, unshowered and in my PJ's. Oh well. As usual, we started by talking about what is going on in each other's lives, but that quickly derailed and turned into a debate on books. Which books we are reading, which books have been turned into movies (and if the movies met/exceeded/failed our expectations in comparison to the original book), and followed up with the ever popular, "What new books do you have? Oh that's right, I have these books of yours! Let's trade!" I love borrowing from Anastasia's library, and I know that she enjoys mine. More than ever, it makes me realize that some day when I have a house of my own, I will need an actual library.Anyway, I also wanted to reveal to you a secret. Shh! Not so loud! Come closer. CLOSER! You're still sitting too far away from the screen!

There now - that's better.

What I'm about to divulge will never be told again, so listen up. This is my family's secret recipe for lemon meringue pie. I don't have a picture of step one, so I'll try and describe as best as I can. After exiting your car, make your way quickly into the store; all the while avoiding impending disaster with oncoming automobiles. Step lively inside, for there are many people there that you will know. This isn't a social call, you're on a mission! Make your way to the desired section of the store, and make your selection. You will then need to rely on an archaic barter ritual, using both rectangular pieces of paper and round disks in exchange for your prize. Sometimes, it is possible to use a magic piece of plastic with a mysterious black stripe, but we'll leave that for another day.

Step two - remove your prize from the bag the merchant will have placed it in.
Step three - gently (ever so gently) remove the clear plastic lining from the outer rim. Whatever you do, don't use a knife.

Step four - ensure that no one is around, and devour all by yourself.

Happy birthday to me!

Erie Walking

While waiting for my friend Dolly to be finished work, I decided to go for a drive. I went all the way down to the dock, which was deserted. I found this odd, as usually there are at least a few teenagers sneaking beer and cigarettes, or geriatrics holding hands. However, I had it all to myself!

Stepping out of the car, I quickly stuffed my hands in my pockets. Everyone knows that it is colder by the lake, but knowing and feeling are two very different things. I followed the trail that some snowmobile had made (thankfully there was a trail at all, I was not wearing boots!). It ran parallel to the dock for a little while then turned onto the beach, disappearing into the distance. Not knowing exactly where the beach ended, I stepped south. The snow was rippled from the constant wind, looking very much like the waves of the lake. Small cyclones of snow blew overtop, again giving the impression of movement. At this moment I noticed the silence surrounding me, other than the wind. No birds, no traffic, no people. I guess the best thing to do when you want some peace and quiet is to go for a walk on a frozen lake!I walked for a while longer, enjoying myself immensely. I turned around to see the full view of the beach covered completely with snow. Uh-oh. Is that the beach way over there? How far had I gone? I looked down and had a slight panic attack - a crack.

It wasn't a crack in the ice, just a small shifting of the snow, but that was enough for me. Slowly (as my mind was screaming that I might fall through if I moved to quickly) I followed my footsteps back. Once I knew that I was back where there was ground under the snow, I turned back to gauge the distance I had gone. What a chicken I am, it must have only been about fifty metres; but how interesting the looks that people give you when you tell them that you just came back from a walk on the lake!

Back in the warm car, I met up with Dolly. We went out for a lovely supper before going to Ernestina's house. She met us with Pink Drinks, the recipe for which is on her own blog. Here is Dolly enjoying a glass.

The three of us sat and talked. And talked. Then we'd listen to a little music, then we'd talk. A quick break to the computer room to check on an online video, then a little more talking. This usually is the way it works with us! When one of us says that they need to leave, for some reason this is usually a cue to bring up the most interesting story of the night. And then we talk.

Mind you, this is in no way a complaint. I couldn't think of a nicer way to spend a chilly evening than sharing my hot air!

It's not right!

Nobody should have to leave their house today. It's so cold, my hand was smoking.I do NOT want to go to work. I want to curl back up in my bed with my cat. I can't even wake up, even though I've already showered. Tim Horton's doesn't help any, even though it's an extra large.

There it is - the hospital.

Taking a deep breath, I remember that I come here to make money, while everyone else comes in because they are worse off than me.

I'll be fine - as long as I can stay awake.

Sushi and a Night on the Town

Last night at work, a few of us ordered sushi. What a treat! Well, we thought so, but some others were disgusted by this. I suppose I can understand this if you've never had it, the thought of 'raw' might shock both you and your gastrointestinal tract. But when I stopped to think about it, I understand why newcomers might be too timid to try.

Pictured below are the "Serpent," "Firecracker," and "Golden Dragon." Second nature to me, and I could easily tell you what each one is made of, but a newbie might hear "Serpent" and think to themselves, Serpent? There's snake in there? But I thought it was fish! I can't believe he's going to eat that! BLECHH!
I actually take offense to people saying "BLECHH" to my sushi. That's a term best saved for my mother's hamburger soup (sorry Mom).

After work, Cupcake and I travelled out on the town to see a movie. Remember the other day when my movie night was cut short? This was to make up for it! Cupcake decided to take this picture of herself in my car.

One of the reasons that we went is because Tuesday is cheap night. What a mistake! We went to SilverCity in Windsor, and could not find a parking spot anywhere nearby - I ended up dropping her off at the door to buy the tickets just to make sure that we would be able to get in should I ever find a parking spot!

I ended up finding a lovely spot, in front of Sears.

A 10 minute walk away.

In the snow.

Uphill both ways.

Oh, and I was barefoot.

Chinese-Style Rice and Vegetables - Deconfusified

Last night, Mom made supper. This isn't surprising - it was supper time - but what she made! BLECHHH! Hamburger soup. Basically, a vegetable beef barley concoction with fried ground beef mixed in. Let's just say that I would much rather make my own meal!

I started off with a medium sized pot, using just enough extra virgin olive oil to cover the bottom. We didn't have a bottle of soy sauce, so I scrounged; and found two leftover packets. I added about a tablespoon of toasted sesame oil, and a teaspoon of Worcestershire sauce.
While I let all these oils heat, I minced one clove of garlic, chopped one stalk of celery, and sliced about half of a medium onion. Notice the large pieces of onion - I only used the outer layers (as I find typical when eating Chinese food).

While these went into the pot to brown, I threw in two small handfulls of chopped spinach. I have large hands, so two large handed small handfulls would be approx. one and a half cups. Into the pot they go!

By alternating low and medium heat, the onions carmelized beautifully without browning too much. Looking in the fridge, I began adding ingrediants at random. Half a cup of matchstick carrots, one third of a large green pepper chopped finely, one (drained) can of mushroom slices, sprinkle of parsley, and some black pepper. I then added some beef broth. It's homemade broth of course, made for me exclusively by Chef Campbell, and sent over in marvelous little cans. Ignore his directions, and add two cans of water, not one.

Now is the time you have to choose to trust me! Although I'm making an (un)authentic Chinese dish, I did not use proper rice. My favorite rice to use is Arborio, because of it's forgiving nature, just don't forget to stir, stir, stir! It soaks up any amount of liquid. Really! Just remember to simmer for at least twenty minutes. If you don't, it will have a nutty consistancy. I don't mind that, but some might. When cooked longer than twenty minutes, it is both sticky and fluffy at the same time. Don't believe me? Try it yourself then!
This all bubbled and brewed in the pot for about thirty-five minutes - the perfect amount of time to prepare something to go with it. I chose breaded butterflied shrimp. As you can see below, it was well worth my efforts!

Hamburger soup? BAH!

Thought for the Day

"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
-English Proverb