Confusifying Linguification: Easy Lemon Pie

Tonight my friend Anastasia came to see me - all the way from London! This was a surprise visit, and I'm sure she was surprised to see me lounging on the couch, unshowered and in my PJ's. Oh well. As usual, we started by talking about what is going on in each other's lives, but that quickly derailed and turned into a debate on books. Which books we are reading, which books have been turned into movies (and if the movies met/exceeded/failed our expectations in comparison to the original book), and followed up with the ever popular, "What new books do you have? Oh that's right, I have these books of yours! Let's trade!" I love borrowing from Anastasia's library, and I know that she enjoys mine. More than ever, it makes me realize that some day when I have a house of my own, I will need an actual library.

Anyway, I also wanted to reveal to you a secret. Shh! Not so loud! Come closer. CLOSER! You're still sitting too far away from the screen!

There now - that's better.

What I'm about to divulge will never be told again, so listen up. This is my family's secret recipe for lemon meringue pie. I don't have a picture of step one, so I'll try and describe as best as I can. After exiting your car, make your way quickly into the store; all the while avoiding impending disaster with oncoming automobiles. Step lively inside, for there are many people there that you will know. This isn't a social call, you're on a mission! Make your way to the desired section of the store, and make your selection. You will then need to rely on an archaic barter ritual, using both rectangular pieces of paper and round disks in exchange for your prize. Sometimes, it is possible to use a magic piece of plastic with a mysterious black stripe, but we'll leave that for another day.

Step two - remove your prize from the bag the merchant will have placed it in.