Breaking up

Dear Blogger,

I just want to start off by saying that I'm sorry. My life has been very busy, but you've been in the back of my mind the entire time. I've had my camera busy flashing away at all of the exciting functions I've attended, or baked goods I've prepared. There's been a jam-off, a housewarming, a resignation, more Winerisms, bad movies I've seen, a new building, and a wedding to name a few. Let's not forget as well that the production of Joseph is less than a month away. From what I hear, there is to be a tango with La Santos - should be exciting!

I hate to make excuses, but here's the biggie. A few months ago I bought a new power-cord for my computer, thinking it was broken. This set me back a few pennies, let me tell you! Well the new cord works fine, but it turns out that the problem is the outlet. For my computer to work at all, I have to twist it in just the right direction and keep it at that angle. Being a rather hit-or-miss sort of deal, this usually frustrates me to the point where I can't even remember what was so important that I decided to try and boot it up. I stuck it out today, and I've found a good place is on my bed, with my comforter holding the cord up at approximately 110 degrees. This does not guarantee the same position will work tomorrow though, which is why I need to let you know how I feel.

I miss you, but I can't really commit to our relationship right now. It's not you, it's me. Maybe later on, when my connection is in a more stable place we can re-evaluate whatever it is we had together. Right now, I think I just need some time for myself.

I hope we can still be friends.

Greek Perogies - Deconfusified

Today the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the wind was gusting away.So even though I would love nothing better than to relax, dinner doesn't make itself. After lining a baking sheet with foil, I emptied a bag of frozen perogies onto it. Use enough cooking spray to lightly coat them, then sprinkle with salt, pepper, and seasonings. I used a Greek mix that I found the last time I was at the store. Toss them in the oven for 20 minutes at 350.A dash of olive oil, a few slices of pepper, a splash of Greek dressing, tomato pulp and chicken strips went in the pan while the perogies were baking. Cook on high heat so that the chicken browns nicely.

The perogies should be done by this point. Top with a touch of mozzarella and feta cheese, and return to oven for another 5-7 minutes.

Layer the chicken on top of the perogies. Add chopped tomato and pepper with extra feta. Use tzatziki sauce if you have it, if not mix liberal shakes of Greek seasoning and black pepper with sour cream.

A refreshing glass of Sangria would go very well with this dish. I didn't have any white wine with me this evening, but last week I had a very nice bottle that I shared with family.

Nothing like giving your great aunt a glass of "Cat's Pee on a Gooseberry Bush!"

Carpe Diem - tomorrow

I have been told by many that I need to update my blog more often. I'm sorry if I don't update as often as you'd like, but the reasoning is simple. Lately, my life is either too boring and there is nothing to talk about or too busy and I just don't have the time to document it!

I guess I'll take it slow, and dish out some useless facts. I can no longer drink plain orange juice or cranberry juice, they have to be mixed. With the weather as nice as it has been, I would rather take my lunch hour alone reading a book outside being labelled 'antisocial' then spending it inside in a crowded kitchen. I detest people who can't alphabetize. Through my jobs, my friends, and my mother, I'm pretty sure I know the entire town of Leamington. I'm in the mood for a snack, so when I'm finished typing I'm getting some crackers and cheese. I hate (yes, hate) when people pronounce pasta pass-ta, and I'm not ashamed to admit that it's a completely useless thing to get upset over. I've fallen in love with a new flavour of gum called Solstice which is hot and cold at the same time. I almost peed my pants laughing when I saw Buffy vs Edward on youtube. I still enjoy the fact that I've been congratulated on my big break as Steve on 'The Steve and Joanne Morning Show.'

I hope that holds everyone for now!

Mind Tricks

I heard myself say something stupid today. I know that's hard to believe, and that you probably spilled your coffee on the keyboard, but it is unfortunately true. A co-worker asked me how I was handling midnight shifts seeing as I've become accustomed to banker's hours. Without delving too deeply into a complaint about exhaustion, I explained how, "My room is a very deep colour and I have really thick curtains. I can trick myself into thinking it's nighttime."

Whoa.

Am I trying to claim that I'm smarter than myself? Or that me in the now is smarter than me in the future? That's well and good right now, but I'm not under the impression that past me from five minutes ago was smarter than the now me. In fact, I think he was less intelligent, as he had only the beginning grasp of this idea and I've already attempted to explain it at length. It that's true, then future me is going to be brilliant! How will I trick him?

If the time/space continuum theory doesn't tickle your fancy (or pinch your plain), there are two other likely reasons. One might be the narcissistic fantasy that I am royalty, and am speaking of my Royal Person. Sometimes we speak that way, to confuse the common. The other is Multiple Personality Disorder. Possible, probable, ponderable, and quite a popular option if you ask me. What a fantastic excuse that must be! I can see it now . . .

Mom: Did you have a wild party in my house?
Me: No.
Mom: We snuck a video camera in the corner of the room to film your antics while we were gone. Here's a tape of you. What do you have to say for yourself?
Me: Nothing. That's not me.
Mom: Would you care to tell me who that person is drinking all that wine?
Me: That's Patrick, the 47 year old electronics salesman. His wife left him because he was cheating on her, and he's a hopeless alcoholic.
Mom: Mmmhmm. And can you tell me why you broke the bottle over your head? Or was that Patrick?
Me: Oh no. That wasn't either of us.
Mom: (getting snarky now) And who was it then?
Me: That was his ex-wife . . .

Oh the hilarity! We all know that it most likely really was me drinking all that wine, but let's keep it to ourselves.

Exhaustion

Hello my old friend. I haven't seen you in a while. With my cushy new Monday to Friday lifestyle I forgot how ugly your mug can be. I'm not blaming others; nobody held a clown (creepier than a gun) to my head and forced me to work four shifts in two days. Actually now that I think about it, the fine people at Visa do want their money back. Sheesh - you think they might have told me that in the first place . . .

It is sort of fun to poke fun at Mom when I'm tired though. Comments such as, "I don't even remember getting into bed!" lead to questions such as, "Do you remember driving home?" Oh, mother. Get ready for a new patch of gray . . . "I drove home?" Now, that isn't really a lie. It's a question. The simple answer to this would be, "Yes, you drove home" but that's not what it sounded like. I know. I'm a terribly bad person, but it's fun to watch her eyebrows shoot north. Give me a break, I'm tired!

It's a Hard Knock Life . . .

After an irritatingly long week, I don't think it's too much to ask that I sleep in. A cuddle with the ktty is always a nice bonus. Toddling outside with a book and sangria (made with Little Black Dress - yumm - see Winerismsm post if you do not understand) I began to relax with a book. Trusty cell phone to keep me in touch with the world, good book, drink, and a sunny spot; what more could I ask for?

Quiet.

That's what I could have asked for. Darn birds chirping with their little, "It's morning! I'm a bird! There's a worm! Aren't I irritating?"

Grr. Might as well go back and cuddle the kitty. Maybe I'll bring her a bird.

"Add One Cake" - Deconfusified

Sometimes one needs to eat cake. Be it an anniversary celebration, a birthday party, or a Friday; this simple recipe will allow you to indulge. Just remember not to add any unnecessary calories or carbohydrates, they aren't called for.

I call this the "add one" cake, because that is how you will remember the recipe. Start with one can of pie filling, and one box of cake mix. I'm making a black forest cake, so the obvious choices are chocolate and cherry.
Now, where were we on our math? That's right, one and one make two, so get out two round cake pans, and grease them well.

Two and one make three, add three eggs.

Three and one make four, so add 1/4 cup of liquid. That was kind of a tricky one, but I pulled it off. Again it is your choice as to the type of liquid, I'm using maraschino cherry juice.

Just a quick little trick that I've picked up before we go on. Instead of flouring your pan as usual, try using some of the cake mix. It gets absorbed by the batter, and lifts out of the pan beautifully. I won't tell you who taught me this trick, but believe me when I say it's a good thing.

Back to math! Four and one make five, so bake the cakes five minutes longer than the baking instructions on the box.

Assembly Instructions

Place the first cake upsidedown. I like to add frosting while it is still warm, because I don't like a thick layer. This way the frosting melts, and is more of a 'glue' than a layer.

To add some texture and extra flavour to my 'glue' I add a few chocolate chips, and a few spices. Here I've added cinnamon, because not many are brave enough to add an apple pie spice to a chocolate cake.

Place second cake topside up. Frost top and all the way around, garnishing as you see fit.

Stop counting the cherries and chocolate chips. The math lesson is over. I could have told you only to stir 6 times, add 7 cherries, 80 chocolate chips and slap yourself on the noggin 9 times, but I didn't. Counting to five is just enough of a good thing, any additional math is your own silliness.

H1N1

"I have a cough. Does this mean I have it? It's really bad while I'm smoking."

"I was in Chatham about a week ago. I know that people who have been traveling are at risk for that swine thingie. What do you think?"

"I ate a pork sandwich! Do I have the pig flu?"

I kid you not. These are the things that I have overheard. Don't worry, I'm not breaking any kind of confidentiality oath at either of my jobs, these are things I've overheard people talking about in public - really! I forget which restaurant I was at, but I actually heard a woman remind her husband not to get bacon on his burger. I suppose the fault is not that of the general populace, but it is frightening to see how an epidemic/pandemic/endemic (whatever we're calling it now) is handled. Why must information be hoarded away? Why can people not be notified of the symptoms other than just the word 'cough?' I myself cough at least four or five times a day to clear my throat. Do I have it too?

As enjoyable as it is to poke fun, there is also the harsh reality. The statistics are out, and as of right now there are four people in Essex County with H1N1, with a province wide total of thirty-one. Laboratory tests have confirmed that it is the same virus as the one in Mexico and the United States. All cases are considered mild, and those afflicted are all resting at home. However I find myself disturbed by the following:

"As expected, there has been a large increase in the number of confirmed cases of the H1N1 flu virus and we look for the case total to continue to rise as daily testing increases. Ontarians should continue to protect themselves and those around them by washing hands frequently, coughing or sneezing into your sleeve, and staying at home if they're sick." - Dr. David Williams, Ontario's Acting Chief Medical Officer of Health

Excuse me? Wash your hands then sneeze into your sleeve? I suppose this is a fantastic way to create job security, but really David. We take enough flak about our health care system without our acting chief telling people to walk around with snot and spittle on their wrist. Also, stay at home if you're sick; our emergency rooms are only for healthy patients.

I would also really enjoy if we picked a name for this virus. Is it the swine flu, the human swine flu, or H1N1? What exactly does the H and the N stand for, and why should it have to sound so mysterious? Yes you could research it if you wanted to, but who has the time? If you speak the language of texting (luv u love you, cul8r see you later) or inserting numbers into your words (1 as an i, 3 as an e, 5 as an s, and so on) you may read it as I do. Hieney. As in, the thing you sit on. Because I'd rather call it that then rattle off an acronym that could stand for anything.

As much as I would like to take credit for this last thought, it was a nurse at work that brought it up. We have been through the avian flu, mad cow disease, and the swine flu. Run for your lives, it's FARMageddon!

29

It was red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ochre and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and gray and purple and white and pink and orange and BLUE!

I'm just wondering why Andrew Lloyd Webber thought that twenty nine colours were necessary, I think five would be sufficient - nobody asked me though. Also, black is not a colour.

Winerisms

You may have noticed that I have a few recipes on my blog. As an addition to the food, I am pleased to introduce the drink as well.I am by no means a wine critic. Instead, what I will do is share with you some of the most exotics names. There will not be an analysis of taste, aroma, appearance or aftertaste; merely good or bad, with a possible adjective before this word.

For example, "Little Black Dress." Very good.

See how simple it is? If it pleases me, I'll include additional information.

"Little Black Dress" is a California Merlot, that promises to be, "Smooth and sophisticated, just like your little black dress."

Maybe after much more practice I will be able to give you more information, but this will have to suffice for now!

Sunset Chicken and Rice with Shrimp - Deconfusified

I know what you're thinking. I'm not usually psychic, but this time I am. You're thinking to yourself, "My! It's been quite a while since he's updated the blog, but a whole new recipe? Even though he is working two jobs? Goodness me!"

I told you I knew. Let me soothe your frazzled mind. Yes this is my recipe, but only because I've tweaked the original recipe from the cookbook so much that I can call it my own!

Start off with some chicken. Usually I'm all for getting the healthiest option that there is available, but this is much tastier if you grin and bear it - buy chicken with the skin. Boneless pieces are best if you can find them. Dust them lightly with flour and salt, while seasoning heavily with pepper. In an electric frying pan, use just enough oil to cover the entire bottom. Heat the oil until it is rippling then toss in the chicken, skin down.
Once the chicken has browned on one side, turn over. Add shrimp, and cook until shrimp are pink, and no longer opaque. Feel free to cook longer, until the shrimp are browned as well. Remove chicken and shrimp from the pan. Don't worry if you think that the chicken might not be finished cooking, we're only taking it out for a minute before we finish with it. Leave all oil in the pan.

Add one chopped onion, two cloves minced garlic, and one teaspoon turmeric to the pan. Let it all sizzle together for about five minutes or so. Add half a cup of white wine. I didn't have any white wine, so I used a quarter cup of white vinegar. Once this additional liquid is in the pan it will loosen any bits of chicken that stuck to the bottom of the pan. If it doesn't, we'll be adding more. Don't worry so much!

Add two cups of broth. It really doesn't matter what kind; vegetable, beef, chicken, etc. Just don't use water. Actually go ahead and use water, but don't complain to me if it tastes bland. Add one cup frozen peas, about three quarters of a cup tomato paste, and one eighth of a cup of pimientos (all I could find was a 4oz jar, this was fine). Stir well.

Mix in two cups of arborio rice, and return chicken and shrimp to the pan. Stir well to ensure the rice is covered by the liquid, or bang the pan to make it all settle. Either way, just make sure there is an even distribution!

Turn down the heat until the liquid is barely simmering. Cover, and let cook for thirty minutes. If you didn't turn the heat down low enough everything will cement itself to the bottom of the pan, but if you turn it too low the rice will be too nutty . . . oh the pending kitchen disasters!

This doesn't have to be made with shrimp, or chicken. I like both, so I used both. It's perfectly fine to use just one. Again as a precaution though, I would make sure that if only using chicken to make sure that the skin remains on to flavour the oil that cooks the rice.

A Moderne Faerie Tayle

Gather around one and all, and I'll tell you a tale that will make you weep with laughter, gasp in astonishment, and paralyze you with fear. Well maybe not - I tend to exaggerate. Grab yourself a cup of cocoa, and prepare to be amazed as I give the Brothers Grimm a run for their money.

Once upon a time, there was a young prince who lived in the noble land of Registeria. The prince was well loved both by those within the court as well as the peasants that visited the castle. He worked with the peasants to resolve some of the issues that the might have. Those with a broken heart might get the love potion Cardiola. Those that needed a bone set he arranged to be taken to the Fountain of Diagnostyc Images. Still others came to him with aches and pains, and he arranged carriage rides to the nearby land of ERtopia. But dark times were about to befall, for a terrible giant named Debto began causing unrest within the kingdoms. Several lords and ladies were lost in an attempt to subdue Debto, but he was yet to be appeased. Those that remained of the nobility became fearful for their lives, and rightfully so. They voiced concern for the prince, but he was sure that his reign within the kingdom was secure.

Sadly, our prince had a consultation with a visiting oracle named Schedula. She informed him that his reign was not as secure as he had thought. Through no fault of his own he would only be able to aid the peasants one day out of seven. The prince was shocked at this divination. Sure he enjoyed his leisure time. In fact, he was booked to perform at a local tavern with the show "Damsels on Broadway II: Prithee, who let in the Knaves?" One night in a fit of despair, he confided this news to one of the damsels he rehearsed with. She told him to meet her later, and she would see what she could do.

Later that night behind the tavern, our prince met with her. She revealed that her name was Parkina, the princess in training from Rowhar. Noticing how poorly the prince felt, she told him of a quest he might go on. Eager for information, the prince listened with rapt attention as she explained what he had to do. Before the sun set the next day, he would need to find the legendary sword of Resoumay and bring it to the sacred spring in the wood of Thyrdflore. Once there, he would need to sprinkle the petals of the rare flower Reference. Parkina cautioned him that this was not a quest that was guaranteed to work, but our prince was determined.

Our prince returned home, a hopeful spring in his step. Because all good heroes are prepared, he knew that he had all the requirements for the quest tucked away for just such an occasion. Early the next morning he journeyed forth (with his imp Ala) and made his way into the wood. He quickly performed the ritual. Unfortunately for our prince, there was no immediate response. Feeling more dejected then ever, he turned and left the woods. The very moment he did, a white dove flew out of the woods. "Come back! Come back!" her voice rang. The prince was shocked, but obeyed. Back at the spring a variety of people were waiting for him, including Parkina. They asked him several questions about how the prince dealt with peasants, and his experience in these areas. The prince answered as truthfully as he could, then the crowd left to make their decision. Leaving for home, the prince was hopeful once more.

Three dawns later, the white dove made another appearance. The poor thing was tired from zooming all around the kingdom, but her voice rang out the the message the prince had been praying for. He had been accepted into the order of LeaFamHealTea, a new way of helping peasants. This acceptance meant five days out of seven, leaving plenty of time to also remain in the land of Registeria.

It has now been two weeks since the prince began working with LeaFamHealTea, and he is as ecstatic as ever. Don't you just love happy endings?

Simply unable to bear the wait any longer . . . I know . . .

I have been absent from my virtual life quite a bit lately. There really is no excuse, other than the fact that I'm too busy living my real life. Ah well, I'll write you a lovely story some time soon.

Broads II - A Breast Cancer Research Fundraiser

I cannot explain to you how gratifying it is to be part of a production that has the power to cause change within a community.

I cannot estimate how we will have impacted the lives of breast cancer survivors, or those who are struggling with it presently.

I cannot show you the enjoyment of the crowd, or the pleasure that we as actors get from playing off their emotions.

but mostly,

I cannot wait for the day that it is purely out of fun and love of theatre that a similar production will be held, because this disease will no longer be a threat.

HELP!

So "Broads" is finally shaping up, and looks like it should be quite the spectacle. But I have now been informed there are auditions for another show the very next day. Sounds like fun! Save for one thing.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO AUDITION WITH!

Just wanted to share my frustration with you.

If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring?

The old local legend is that 'if you don't like the weather in Essex county, wait 15 minutes.'

Well that was certainly proved today! I wouldn't kid about something so serious as the weather, after all it is the one subject anyone can bring up without feeling awkward. But really! Within one hour, I saw all of the following: cloudy skies, sunny skies, snow, sleet, rain, and what sounded like hail. The wind was gusting from all directions, and none at all.

Days like this cause me to think seriously about the patients that come in to the emergency room. Did I lose you just there? Let me clarify. We all know that allergies will flare up with the seasons. We are more susceptible to the cold or flu during a change in the weather. During the late fall, winter, and early spring, the sun's rays are not strong enough for North Americans to receive enough vitamin D through absorption. This strongly affects our moods.

Also there is the full moon phenomenon. This is a subject that is joked about all the time. Again, allow me to explain myself before you think that I am thinking far too spatially (although there's nothing wrong with that way of thinking, but if you follow my blog you should know that I like to start my day with a great big helping of common sense; more than is expected in that school of thought. Hm, it's called common sense, but it doesn't seem to be all that common!). If the moon controls the tides through gravitational pull, it must therefore control us as well. How you ask? The human body is composed of a variety of lovely things, but 60 - 70% of our composition is water. If the movement of the moon moves entire oceans, surely things happen to us as well! Could it be that there is an upward movement of blood throughout our bodies, causing a higher amount of fluid to the brain?

Mostly, when there is a full moon it is known that this is when the 'crazies' come out. If we believe that the gravitational pull has something to do with this, I would like to pose another question. What happens during a new moon? Would it be harder to maintain the chemical balances that dictate our health? Ever since I have asked myself these things, I have noticed one continuous trend. Full moon means up, new moon means down. Up means an increase in tempers (more bar fights), an increase in passion (more teenagers canoodling in the corners of the waiting room), and an increase in blood pressures (chest pain, and anything cardiac related). Down means a decrease of consciousness (falls for no particular reason, confusion), a decrease of pain tolerance (headaches, stomach aches, etc.), and a decrease of appreciation for life (higher rates of alcoholism, overdoses, and suicide attempts).

So what is snow, rain, sleet, sun and clouds going to do to the general populace?

I think I'm going to hide out at home for a while.

Spinach Filled Garlic Twists - Deconfusified (Part 3 of 3) Some Assembly Required

#3 Reason - I promised this recipe a few posts ago. Aren't you happy I keep my word?

Begin by laying out a chunk of dough. I usually do not approve of using a rolling pin, but in this case it really is quite necessary.
Using a sharp knife, cut your rectangle into strips that are about 4 centimetres wide. Length is completely up to how large your counter space is!
Spoon your filling down the middle of each strip of dough. No it is not sanitary to lick the spoon in between scoops. I don't care how good the filling is.

Now is the semi-tricky part. I have copyrighted the name for this procedure: the folrinch. What is it? A folding roll pinch. Begin by folding the dough over the filling, pinching the seam shut. Do the same thing for the ends, and roll the dough 'tube' slightly so that there will be less of a seam.

Don't worry if you do not get it right, you will have plenty of chances to perfect it. Loop the dough over your finger.

Twist the two ends together. Depending how much filling you used, there might be some that squishes out (like the bit by my top finger). Leave as is, or scoop off and into your mouth. If doing the second option, be sure to wash your hands before returning to the remaining strips.

On a baking sheet, spray lightly with a non-stick cooking spray followed by a light dusting of flour. If desired, add a sprinkling of freshly ground pepper as well. After the twists have been placed on the sheet, top lightly with sea salt.

Bake at 400 until golden brown top and bottom. Notice how the sizes and amount of twists vary. What delicious imperfection!

(This recipe was first tested out at work. Nurses are hungry people by nature, but many are health conscious people as well. Imagine that! It is quite flattering to the baker to know that diets were broken several times to sample. Additional thanks to Mom for her photography skills. I'm good, but not so good as to take pictures while both hands are busy.)

Spinach Filled Garlic Twists - Deconfusified (Part 2 of 3) Spinach Dip

#2 Reason - When people want the recipe, it is much simpler to refer them to my blog than writing it out.

Start off by mincing a medium onion and two cloves of garlic. Toss into a pot with just enough olive oil to coat, and turn up the heat.
Add about 16oz of fresh spinach (about 2 bags). Depending on how 'leafy' you like it you may choose to chop it by hand, but I prefer to use the processor.

Cook for about 10 minutes on high heat. Spinach is naturally quite green, but it will become much more vivid. Scoop into a strainer, and allow any excess oil to drip away. Better down the drain than on the hips!

In the same pot (I know! Less dishes!) heat half a cup of milk, a few dashes of Worshtershire sauce, enough hot pepper oil to taste, and an 8oz brick of light cream cheese. The secret ingredient is feta cheese. Mmm, feta. No matter how high you turn the heat, there is to easy way to add it, so just accept the fact that it will be a little lumpy. I suppose you could pull out the processor again, but that would gum up the blades a little more than I like.

Whisk the spinach mixture back in.

(If you are using this recipe as a dip, use only 8oz of spinach. Top with mozzarella and bake for 15 minutes at 375.)

Spinach Filled Garlic Twists - Deconfusified (Part 1 of 3) Bread

There are three reasons for this blog, and there are three parts. Reason dictates that there should be one reason per posting, and here it is.

#1 Reason - Many people do not actually believe that I make the bread I claim to make.

Today's society does not allow for such 'traditional' ways of cooking/baking. It should either be defrosted from a box, or bought precooked. "Bread? Like with yeast?" Shocking I know, but it is true. Without even a bread maker to aid me, I have succeeded in being behind the times.

In a large bowl mix 2 cups of warm water, 2 1/4 teaspoons of yeast (it does not matter what kind. Yeast is yeast.) and a pinch of sugar. How much is a pinch? Look through your jar for any clumps caused by condensation. If you don't want the company to see it in the sugar bowl, toss it in here. If it is larger than your fist, common sense might tell you that this is more than a pinch.

In a second bowl mix 2 1/2 cups of warm water with half a cup oil (again, use whatever kind you want. It affects your bread though, so consider carefully. Would you really want olive oil in a sweet dough?), half a cup of sugar, and a pinch of salt. Whisk together as well as possible, and add to first bowl.

Begin adding flour. You are going to add up to 12 cups.

Add any flour 'alternatives' after the first three cups or so. Examples could include oats and flax seeds, as well as any spices or herbs that may be desired if you have a specific purpose for the dough. I usually only use 10 cups of flour after adding all of these extras. Always remember that it is very simple to add a touch of extra flour if need be, but quite difficult to add more water. It is time to plop your dough onto the counter when it is to hard to stir with a spoon anymore. It does not really matter how sticky the dough still is, as long as you have quite a thick layer of flour on the counter ready for kneading. This is another excellent time to add modifying ingredients to your recipe. I'll be using this dough for garlic twists, so I have added 2 minced cloves, about a tablespoon of garlic powder, and close to 3 tablespoons parsley.Now it is time to knead. What a wonderful way to release stress, perhaps this is why I am such a pleasant person. Did that driver that cut you off this morning make you angry? Did a family member lie to you? Did a co-worker get the raise that you deserve? Make sure that you haven't beaten your dough to a pulp, and check to see if you need to add more flour. You will know the dough is finished by the way it feels. It should have become more 'elastic-like' in the way it holds shape, it will no longer blob all over the counter. I have been told that the dough should feel like your earlobe, but I have another body part you could refer to. Get your mind out of the gutter. Your cheek. Open your mouth very wide into an 'o' shape and poke the hollow of your cheek. This is how your dough should feel if you poke it, soft but elastic.

Place your dough in a lightly oiled bowl, and cover until risen. For those who simply do not have the time to wait, pop it into the oven with the door open. Once your oven has reached the lowest temperature setting, turn the oven off. You want to warm the dough, not bake it.

The dough is ready for use when more than doubled in size.

(Many thanks to the Decadent Housewife for the basic recipe which I have altered to suit my own needs. Also, I take no responsibility for the sun shining in the middle of my photos. I may have a lot of time on my hands, but not so much that I will move everything that I am doing to ensure the perfect photograph.)